But of course

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More about my fuck-upitude

How many people do you know who could leave keys on a table with an inch of space away from the wall, then unknowingly knock the keys down that space into a garbage can – which is itself half an inch away from the wall – and discover the keys at the bottom of the full can, soaked with soda, coffee grounds, and wet potato chips?

You know one.

For the record…

… while the week’s “Democrats in disarray” storyline applied to their ridiculous dive over DC voting rights, didn’t the passage of the Iraq supplemental show that they’re, uh, not in disarray? Don Surber’s backflip over this stuff was probably the most acrobatic. Before the vote:

Nancy Pelosi lost control of the House last week when she got in a catfight with Maxine Waters behind closed doors in the Democratic caucus over the Iraq war.

Pelosi and the rest of her Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time Leadership team are trying to starve the troops out of Iraq in a move that certainly brings smiles to our enemy.

But many Democrats won’t support. Either they are anti-war crazies like Waters or people who oppose the war but support the troops like Jim Marshall, D-Ga. He won’t vote for a strings-laden Iraq War budget bill even if it is loaded with pork like $43 million for peanut farmers in his and other districts.

Tip O’Neill would have sat on Marshall. Not so a lightweight like Pelosi.

So Pelosi pulls together the votes – giving Marshall room to vote against by, for example, getting every freshman Democrat to vote for. Surber:

Do not be alarmed. Today’s vote was a bone thrown to the boneheads at Kos and the rest of the Netroots crowd. I encourage Code Pink and the rest of the activists to celebrate — burn a soldier or two in effigy. Knock yourselves out.

It’s not going to pass! Hey, it passed. It only passed because you people are fucktards!

Sigh. Just because Bush is reduced to bitching and stamping his feet doesn’t mean the entire Right has to follow his lead.

Steve Gilliard

I didn’t shoehorn into the Cathy Seipp eulogizing – her entertainment writing was beautiful, but I can’t say I enjoyed much of her political stuff, and I only met her once. However, I’ve argued with Steve Gilliard before, and I’m truly saddened by what’s happening to him.

–Biggest and worst news: Gilly still can’t move his right side. On the other hand, his doctors “still aren’t that concerned about it” as he is still VERY swollen–the right half of his body “is swollen up like a balloon.” They have even put some sort of elastic binding torniquents or wraps (I’m envisioning an industrial version of those neoprene knee and joint wraps) on his legs in order to keep the excessive swelling down.

–A stroke has NOT been ruled out; a full-body CAT was done a few days ago but his Mom has not yet been given results.–Gilly IS alert and can do stuff like open and close his left hand to show “yes or no,” blink his eyes X amount of times, etc. He still has pretty good mobility on the left side.

I know that this isn’t what people wanted to hear. The thought of him having MORE work done on him is just crazy-making. The thought of him getting MORE surgery is awful. The fact that he may be paralyzed is super bad news. Even if he eventually gets some use of his right arm back, he may never be strong enough to walk easily again, which means a wheelchair.

The problem is that Steve Gilliard is (maybe was, depending on how much this is shredding his body) extremely obese. His family medical history would have led to problems down the line anyway, but Gilliard made the problems worse by overindulging on food for years and years. Gilliard (and his nice friend Jen, who sometimes assumes readers care about her life more than I think we do) was given to posting recipies and reports of great barbeque feats, eventually launching a food blog to gather this stuff in one place. I would look at this stuff and think “But, dude… did you at least take a walk afterwards?” As much as I disagreed with Gilliard, after I’d read that he had kidney problems I would worry that he was ignoring his health and leading to some kind of collapse. That may have just happened.

Obviously I hate school-marming people about anything, especially healthy eating. (I eat like a hobo and gain or shed pounds in unequal amounts every few years.) But I really like the informal, ever-expanding salon we bloggers and journalists have built up over the past decade or so. Please, people. Take care of yourselves. I want us to be irritating each other for a long, long, time.

And get well, Steve.

WordPress fucking blows

I am convinced now that WordPress’s comment feature is designed to let spammers, and only spammers, post comments. On the frontend, you readers are informed that “comments are closed.” But I get 20-40 spam comments on the backend every day, held for my approval, from the usual subhumans promoting the usual scams. How do they get in? I have no earthly idea. I want to do one of two things:

1) Clean up the comment system so real people can comment and spammers are blocked.
2) Block all comments.

I’d prefer 1), because while this will never be a high-traffic blog I’d like for my friends to be able to chat on here. But how do I do it? Someone, please help me.

Also, if I ever get the identity of one of the spammers programming these bots who keep attacking my blog, I will run over his legs with my car, then back up and run over his skull, giggling as his eyeballs pop like overfed ticks. If he has kids, I’ll lock them in a garage and pump in some discount Zyklon B. Fair warning!

We love Fred!

So the poll says that Fred Thompson and his high name recognition tie Hillary Clinton, but trail badly behind Barack Obama. Nonetheless, Hillary leads Obama in polls.

Humble prediction: If the Democrats actually nominate Bill Clinton’s less-charismatic wife, the night of Obama’s convention speech will produce a wave of buyers remorse so intense, so ground-shaking, that will be felt as far away as Nova Scotia. (I don’t actually think Obama, if he lost the primary, would take the VP slot; better not to be associated with the third consecutive Democratic botch-up of an easy presidential race.)