Why does Dave ruin everything he touches?

This is too good. I am Exhibit A in a Wall Street Journal piece about how guest bloggers fail to keep popular websites humming.

Despite the efforts of three verbose guest bloggers, replacements handpicked by Mr. Sullivan, the site’s visitor tally has fallen. The Daily Dish, now part of Time magazine, usually garners around 90,000 unique visitors, or individual readers, each day. At the start of the first workweek without him, Mr. Sullivan’s blog received about 67,000 hits, according to Site Meter. This week, traffic has hovered around 57,000.

“The frequency of emails of ‘Bring back Andrew’ and ‘This is stupid. Bring back Andrew’ is definitely higher than anything I’ve ever written,” says David Weigel, a 24-year-old assistant editor at Reason magazine, who is one of Mr. Sullivan’s guest bloggers and has filled in at other sites in the past.

This is accompanied by a graph of how bad I’m doing. But wait! Later in the story, we learn that Michelle Malkin also hired summer guest bloggers.

Michelle Malkin, host and namesake of a political blog, recruited guest writers carefully when she decided to take her first vacation in several years. All four replacements had a “similar vibe” to her own, says Ms. Malkin. Two of the guest bloggers were well-versed in subjects popular in the news at the time and the other two were friends whose work she admired.

A slice of Ms. Malkin’s audience didn’t take to the guest bloggers. She chalked that up to a “fickle” bunch who prefer her work as a syndicated columnist. But overall the guest bloggers held readers’ attentions, says Ms. Malkin. During the week she was gone, hits averaged around 140,000 a day, down from about 200,000 before she went on vacation. Last week, before she eased back into posting, her average daily visitor tally dipped below 120,000. The numbers didn’t faze Ms. Malkin. “For the dog days of August, they did tremendously well,” she says of her fill-ins.

Let’s look at this. The faux Malkin bloggers who kicked ass and (I presume) took names managed 60-70% of my arch-nemesis’ normal traffic. I (along with Ana Marie Cox and Michael Totten) have managed to score 63-74% of normal traffic. So why didn’t Elizabeth Holmes lead with a sob story about how badly the Malkin subs were blowing it?

(I’m really not bitter. It’s cool to be featured in the WSJ. But… a graph?)

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