2006: A look back

Everyone else is making 2006 predictions, so why can’t I?

– Bill O’Reilly will lose his radio show after negotiating the on-air execution of ACLU head Anthony Romero. Ratings for his 8 pm FOX show edge up 15%.

– Peter Jackson will find donors shutting their wallets to him after the disappointing performance of “King Kong” casts doubt on the viability of his new project, a 6-hour biopic on New Zealand poppers Crowded House.

– Members of the Thomas More Law Center and Young Conservatives of Pennsylvania chain themselves to polling booths to prevent the defeat of Sen. Rick Santorum. They are ultimately unsuccessful.

– Scandal rocks the Senate when South Korean scientists reveal they had cloned Sen. Bill Frist and installed him as majority leader in an international plot to humiliate the Republican party. However, independent investigations expose the Korean claim as a hoax. They created George Pataki, not Bill Frist.

– After two months registering the network’s all-time highest ratings, Keith Olbermann’s MSNBC show is cancelled. Tucker Carlson’s “The Situation” expands to two hours.

– In a surprising upset, New York Republican Ed Cox polls third in the race against Sen. Hillary Clinton. Nation Magazine editor Katrina vanden Heuvel, running as antiwar Green/Workers Family Party candidate, comes in second with 9% of the vote.

– In midterm elections Democrats win the House, the Senate, and for some reason the chairmanship of NASA. FOX News devotes the following month to a telethon aimed at getting Sen. Joe Lieberman to become a Republican already. He does, but Democrats retain control of the Senate when Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens immolates himself in front of the Sierra Club’s headquarters.

One thought on “2006: A look back

  1. I didn’t bother with “King Kong”, but I would pay first-run prices to see a 6-hour biopic on Crowded House.

    Don’t dream it’s over, Peter Jackson! Don’t you dare dream it’s over!

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