Mmmm … bile
For some reason, Jerry Springer has made Jonah Goldberg his chief opponent in his U.S. Senate race. Keith Olbermann, host of “Countdown with Keith Olbermann,” grilled the TV personality on that in an interview.
OLBERMANN: Jonah Goldberg of â€œNational Reviewâ€ aid on CNN that you would bring â€œslack-jawed yokels, hicks, weirdos, pervs and whatnots.â€ And apart from considering the source there, at what point did we stop letting yokels, hicks, weirdos, pervs and whatnots vote? We let Jonah Goldberg vote.
SPRINGER: Well, you make a good point.
Ha ha ha! Whew! Naturally, Jonah used this as grist for one of his Neverending Columns. I was given to wonder something else: Is Keith Olbermann a jackass, or what?
Since I’m not much of a sports fan, I didn’t know who Olbermann was until 2002. That’s when he got a column for Salon.com. David Horowitz, whose columns I greatly enjoyed (when he stuck to facts), had just been sacked. Who was this guy?
He began writing columns for sports memorabilia magazines at age 12, edited one of them at age 16 and was senior editor of Baseball Magazine at 19.
What a prodigy! Who’da thunk a teenage boy would enjoy baseball?
Olbermann went on to suck on a weekly basis. I hated his column. I hated his smug caricature (see right). I hated that it replaced something enjoyable and controversial. I hated that it contained no reporting. I hated, hated that he mused on politics with all the wisdom of a Lego. And I hated his endless carping about ESPN.
After five and a half years there, I left ESPN at the end of June 1997. My decision inspired a lot of head-scratching, everything from graffiti on a wall in a syndicated comic strip, to shouts of “traitor” from a viewer at a World Series game.
Quelle drama! Get me a bucket.
The political stuff really got to me. I’d rejected better columns for my college newspaper. This one was a doozy:
For national elections, instead of punishing nonparticipation, we should reward those who show up. With your proof-of-voting seal, you get to cut some small figure — $25? — off your federal income tax. Like a free meal, nothing tastes better than a bottom-line, cash-back offer. Hell, we live in a society in which a New York bank is offering depositors who open an account in five figures or more a cash payment of 75 bucks — and those who take them up on it are reportedly looking at the $75 as if it was the first allowance money they ever got from Mom and Dad.
Salon editors eventually got around to reading this stuff and canned Olbermann after less than 6 months of columns. Thus, I take his denunciations of Jonah Goldberg with several grains of salt.