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1, 2, 3 – laugh!

Want to intern for Bill Clinton? Of course you do. Here’s the application.

Key questionable quotes:

– “the Intern Program of the William Jefferson Clinton Office in New York City offers a unique opportunity for growth, learning, and meaningful service.”
– �In this environment, each intern is vitally important.�
– “Each intern is truly needed � and appreciated.”

Read the whole thing.

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Phrases I never want to hear again after listening to three Pacifica radio broadcasts

Smoking gun.
Made the case.
Beating of the war drums.
This impending war.
President-select.
Speaking truth to power.

Alternatively, if the stations’ hosts and guests insist on trotting out these phrases multiple times during every show, I want a nickle for each repetition.

88870572

Oohhhh … oOOOOhhh … ERIC ALTERMAN!

I’ve never ranked Atrios highly in the blogger game because 1.)his site is Kent county-ugly and 2.)he’s childish. I can think of no other description of his tone – he’s not just angry, he’s petulant and stupid when the first whiff of a “conservative media” story comes his way. He calls Christoper Hitchens “Snitchens.” Tell me the man doesn’t have a cowlick and a lollipop.

I first blogged against him when he announced the return of “Media Whores Online” (no link, it’s a waste of bandwith) by posting: “HorseHorseHorseHorse!” That was irritating. His fellating of Eric Alterman, the toothy pundit and author of “What Liberal Media?” (Answer: THAT liberal media.) is … insufferable.

Alterman’s book came out on Feb. 4. On Jan. 29, Atrios mentioned it once and asked, jokingly, for a review copy. On Feb. 2, he mentioned it again. On Feb. 3, he plugged it again, plugged the book’s website, and plugged Alterman’s previous book. He called Feb. 4 “What Liberal Media” Day. That was fair – but later that day he asked readers to contact Bill O’Reilly to lobby for Alterman. And then he did it again. His evidence for claiming O’Reilly was “too chicken” to have Alterman on the show, was, apparently, the fact that Alterman wasn’t on the show. On Feb. 5 he used the same logic to indict NPR and beg readers to spam the station’s hosts. 92 minutes later, he announced that Alterman would be on Crossfire. A few hours later, he asked readers to spam The Today Show. In the evening he asked readers to tape Alterman’s Crossfire appearence. Then comes Feb. 6 – Atrios announces that 47 readers have bought the book on Amazon, and requests readers to spam NPR. Less than two hours later he asks readers again to buy the book. And because I’m tired of going through the site day by day, he flogs it again here, here, here, here, here, here.

Which takes us to today.

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I ain’t missing you at all

I had time to post over the weekend, but I didn’t. I had mildly amusing life events to recount over the weekend, but I didn’t. By no means am I giving up the weblog, but as long as there are four more issues of the Chronicle, hella fundraising, and a slew of midterms, maintaining this journal ranks very low on my to-do list. I love doing it, but it’s hard to motivate myself with all the responsibilities laughing at me like EC Comics ghouls. So it’s probably not worth your precious surfing time to check the ol’ DW-i more than three times a week.

And now, the return of an improved “song of the day.”

Song of the Day: Blondie, “Union City Blue”. Meaningless lyrics are ranked about fifth in the mix of this mislaid classic, buried under a swooping Phil Spectorish production (is it still OK to say that?) and stinging new wave guitar.

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A stupid quiz

You’re Singapore!

You’re small but well-built and people are a little afraid
of you.  You might even walk with a cane that people find somewhat menacing,
rather than seeing it as an aid to your mobility.  You like an urban lifestyle,
with little time for nature or the more rural pleasures of life.  This
fast-paced lifestyle suits you, and you wish everyone around you would just
shape up.

Take
the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

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Levity

I’ve been told to make this weblog more amusing. Very well.

A panda walks into a bar and sits next to the beer nuts. He grabs the nuts in handfuls and polishes the whole bowl off, then gets up and walks back to the door. Just as he reaches the threshold, the panda pulls out a Glock 9 and opens fire on the room, killing everyone except the bartender.

“What the hell are you doing?” screams the bartender.

“I’m a panda. Look it up.”

The panda exits and the bartender grabs a dictionary. He finds “panda”:

“Eats shoots and leaves.”