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More Lamott

I remember when I first saw the columnist’s name. She took part in a pseudo-roundtable on the 1998 election. Her contribution stuck out for me then because it was so … well … here it is.

Anne Lamott, author and Salon columnist

I’m so happy. I’m ecstatic. I’m hysterical. I’m so happy that piece of shit D’Amato lost that I ate a can of Campbell’s D’Amato soup to celebrate and now I’m eating all my child’s Halloween candy to further the exhilaration. … I just saw [Lauch Faircloth] give his concession speech: “I guess I let everybody down.” They’re going, “No. No. No.” And I’m going, “You did. You did. We hate you. We didn’t want you anymore. We saw through you.” … And I hear there was a huge turnout in Illinois of blacks. [Carol Moseley-Braun’s] losing right now, it’s like 29 percent … I’m not giving up on Moseley-Braun yet. There was a really huge turnout of the blacks. And Feingold is ahead right now.

[To son] Don’t take candy out of your mouth and give it to me if you don’t like it. That’s like what a Republican would do.

[To Salon] We’re discussing the difference between [parties]. Republicans take candy out of their mouths that they decide they didn’t want. That’s what they have to offer: candy they’ve already sucked on [and] decided they don’t want.

[To son] A Democrat would let his mother take anything she wanted from the candy bag. … The Democrats are us. Like Toys R Us: Democrats are us. Republicans suck. We should never be close to people that are Republicans because they don’t take care of the poor, or black people or Hispanic people and they are not pro-women’s rights.

[To Salon] That’s progressive. The Democrats have been eating shit this whole year. It’s been such a bad year to be a Democrat. I just feel like it’s been so great to have a good night, to have a few upsets. I’m just so happy. I think it’s going to change the whole course of the impeachment proceedings. It’s a real slap in the face to that prick Henry Hyde. Of course he got reelected. He’s the incumbent, so he got reelected. But it doesn’t really matter because his platform didn’t get embraced. It’s like people just said, “Stop. Bore us later. We don’t give a shit. We’re really, really concerned about real things.”

And they rehired her.

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