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Osama the pundit

The funniest thing about Eric Alterman’s Altercation weblog (motto: “Yesterday’s opinions TODAY!”) is that only one of his frequent e-mailers is called “Stupid.” And it’s not this guy:

Name: Glen
Hometown: Boston
You know, once you get past all of bin Laden�s self-serving rhetoric, he does have a pretty interesting view of the United States and it�s citizens. http://www.observer.co.uk/worldview/story/0,11581,845725,00.html While I despise the guy and hope that he dies a slow and incredibly painful death (and I hope Allah will have nothing to do with him afterwards) I do think it is a tragedy that he has been able to grasp many of the problems our country faces better than the current administration�s can. Then again – we didn�t elect the current administration, so I guess it should be no surprise at all that they�re self-serving and out of touch with reality…

I hadn’t actually read this (possibly forged) letter from bin Laden until prodded by Glen. But I have now. Here’s some of those interesting views.

(b) It is saddening to tell you that you are the worst civilization witnessed by the history of mankind:

OK. Sounds like a winning campaign strategy. “Destroy America! Re-elect Gore!”

(i) You are the nation who, rather than ruling by the Shariah of Allah in its Constitution and Laws, choose to invent your own laws as you will and desire. You separate religion from your policies, contradicting the pure nature which affirms Absolute Authority to the Lord and your Creator. You flee from the embarrassing question posed to you: How is it possible for Allah the Almighty to create His creation, grant them power over all the creatures and land, grant them all the amenities of life, and then deny them that which they are most in need of: knowledge of the laws which govern their lives?

Good idea. Maybe we would be better off as a theocracy. I can only assume Glen was a staunch Gary Bauer supporter in 2000.

(ii) You are the nation that permits Usury, which has been forbidden by all the religions. Yet you build your economy and investments on Usury. As a result of this, in all its different forms and guises, the Jews have taken control of your economy, through which they have then taken control of your media, and now control all aspects of your life making you their servants and achieving their aims at your expense; precisely what Benjamin Franklin warned you against.

Actually, Ben Franklin never made the anti-semitic speech that’s being referred to. But maybe he did and the right-wing Jew-run media is covering it up.

(iii) You are a nation that permits the production, trading and usage of intoxicants. You also permit drugs, and only forbid the trade of them, even though your nation is the largest consumer of them.

Woody, is that you?

(iv) You are a nation that permits acts of immorality, and you consider them to be pillars of personal freedom. You have continued to sink down this abyss from level to level until incest has spread amongst you, in the face of which neither your sense of honour nor your laws object.

Who can forget your President Clinton’s immoral acts committed in the official Oval office? After that you did not even bring him to account, other than that he ‘made a mistake’, after which everything passed with no punishment. Is there a worse kind of event for which your name will go down in history and remembered by nations?

According to Glen, the birth of George W is probably worse.

(v) You are a nation that permits gambling in its all forms. The companies practice this as well, resulting in the investments becoming active and the criminals becoming rich.

Sigh … no comment.

(vi) You are a nation that exploits women like consumer products or advertising tools calling upon customers to purchase them. You use women to serve passengers, visitors, and strangers to increase your profit margins. You then rant that you support the liberation of women.

We don’t ENSLAVE them. We don’t FORCE them to do any of this. It’s their CHOICE. Giselle Bundchen could be working on Wall St if she wanted, but she chooses not to.

(vii) You are a nation that practices the trade of sex in all its forms, directly and indirectly. Giant corporations and establishments are established on this, under the name of art, entertainment, tourism and freedom, and other deceptive names you attribute to it.

Yes, and? And is this something unique to America? Shouldn’t Osama (and Glen) be strapping dynamite to themselves in say, Amsterdam, if this is what gets their panties in a twist?

(viii) And because of all this, you have been described in history as a nation that spreads diseases that were unknown to man in the past. Go ahead and boast to the nations of man, that you brought them AIDS as a Satanic American Invention.

We also brought them crack. Don’t forget the crack!

(xi) You have destroyed nature with your industrial waste and gases more than any other nation in history. Despite this, you refuse to sign the Kyoto agreement so that you can secure the profit of your greedy companies and*industries.

We’ve also fed more people than any nation in history. If you want us to commit genocide by reverting to uneconomic food production in the interest of Gaia, please, don’t bother.

(x) Your law is the law of the rich and wealthy people, who hold sway in their political parties, and fund their election campaigns with their gifts. Behind them stand the Jews, who control your policies, media and economy.

Yawn.

(xi) That which you are singled out for in the history of mankind, is that you have used your force to destroy mankind more than any other nation in history; not to defend principles and values, but to hasten to secure your interests and profits. You who dropped a nuclear bomb on Japan, even though Japan was ready to negotiate an end to the war.

Really? Huh. Our Jewish historians must be covering up that tidbit.

a)The freedom and democracy that you call to is for yourselves and for white race only; as for the rest of the world, you impose upon them your monstrous, destructive policies and Governments, which you call the ‘American friends’. Yet you prevent them from establishing democracies. When the Islamic party in Algeria wanted to practice democracy and they won the election, you unleashed your agents in the Algerian army onto them, and to attack them with tanks and guns, to imprison them and torture them – a new lesson from the ‘American book of democracy’!!!

So why are there no Japanese suicide bombers?

Well, overall, I see what Glen is getting at. Any positions open for a columnist?

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